Previously on the Chaos legacy: Pretty much everyone died. It sucked. All the toddlers became kids, there was lots of dancing and other sporty things, and now we’re off to increase Chazza’s evil and choose an heir.
The twins adore each other, and all they want to do is play together. Even when they are exhausted. GO TO BED, RIDICULOUS CHILDREN.
Ridiculous children: NO.
Carla: Chazza – why are you outside, in your pajamas, having a birthday?
Chazza: I feel so sparkly! I could be a fairy right now, too!
Carla: Okay then. Have fun.
Chazza: Man, I make being an adult look good.
Despite the fact that she spent zero time with them as babies and toddlers, now that they are children, Sophie seems cool with the fact she has two more kids after Diana. It’s about damn time, woman. (I also love how she’s pretty much always in her workout gear. This family. They’re so damn sporty. And to think, all they used to care about was magic and cleaning.)
Family dinner! They are too, too cute. And also color coordinated, which is ridiculous. (… I do realize that is my fault.) Everyone kindly ignores the stink waves coming from some of the plates and/or Chazza.
DEE! Are you gossiping about your mother to your mother?! And you’re supposed to be the NICE ONE!
Dee: I would never say anything behind someone’s back that I wouldn’t say to their face. *smug*
Sophie seems pretty amused, though.
Sophie: Go to bed, child! It is after midnight.
Dara: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, SPARKLE ME TO SLEEP?
Carla: That new parenting thing you’re trying out is going well, Sophie. No wonder you ignored them until now.
Sophie: *smug* You were saying?
Carla: I was saying that the kid climbing into bed is a different child, so.
Sophie: … crap.
Chazza: No, seriously, listen to your mother and GO TO BED.
Dara: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!
Carla: Oh, kid, you might not want to pick a fight with this one, Chazza is legit evil. She used to love to steal candy from babies.
Carla: Though, what kind of evil are you up to in that outfit, Chazza? Plus I have no idea how those pants stay up, considering how low they ride. Damn.
OH HELL NO, YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE DOING CREEPY TWIN BRAIN THINGS, GIRLS.
Diana: This music is awesome.
Carla: So why aren’t you dancing like you normally do?
Diana: It’s funnier to watch Mom.
Carla: Fair enough.
Sophie: Soccer is almost as fun as dancing!
Carla: I have no idea how you’re managing such fancy footwork in those shoes and tight leather trousers, but good for you.
Are you fucking kidding me right now, Death? REALLY?!
Death: Everyone dies, darling.
Yeah, but you pretty much moved in last update. Couldn’t you have done this then? Or six months from now? Damn.
Diana: This feels terribly familiar.
Death: Hey kid. I’ll take good care of your cat, promise.
Diana: I don’t like it when you show up.
Death: Part of life.
Carla: Fuck off into the sea, Death.
Death: *cuddles kitty*
Death: Who’s a good kitty? Who’s a good kitty?
Oh, god, Dumpling is even adorable playing with Death. And my heart is breaking for the girls. Look at those poor kids. They’ve already lost so many people, and now their beloved pet, too? Damn.
THANKS A LOT, DEATH! FUCK.
Wait a minute, where are you – are you really – you wouldn’t –
Death: I love coming here. You have the best electronics.
Carla: I hate you so damn much.
Chazza: Watch out, evildoers, I am coming for you with my logic.
Carla: Only because you want to be even more evil.
Chazza: Well duh.
Once again, I am going to skip the mourning period. There’s nothing entertaining about them breaking down every few minutes, sobbing because their beloved cat died.
Diana! Where the hell have you gone and why aren’t you at home? It is late!
Diana: Look, I found a rocking chair. I’m resting. Leave me alone.
Aaaand then she passed out in it. Awesome.
Sophie, getting down as always. She won’t even answer her phone when she’s dancing.
OKAY, VAMPIRE BOY, I DON’T THINK YOU’RE OLD ENOUGH FOR THAT CONVERSATION. AND EVEN IF YOU ARE, DEE CERTAINLY IS NOT.
(I think this is the Pok kid, but I can’t find my notebook where I jotted down names, so your guess is as good as mine.)
I find this family bonding adorable, especially because Diana is doing her homework no matter where she is and Dara keeps talking about her beloved sister Dee.
Chazza, what in the world has you so excited?
Chazza: EVIL IS AFOOT!
Sophie dance break!
I love how often I find Sophie dancing.
Birthday time! And for once, everyone in the family is there to cheer Diana on. (Also, the odds are really low anyone will die on this birthday. THANK GOD.)
Meet teen!Diana! I find her adorable. I also waited to long to write this up and can’t find the notebook I used, so I have no idea what traits she used. I can’t wait until I get to the point where I started being able to capture the UI.
Diana: Here you go, kid! Nice and easy!
Dara: NICE AND EASY, HUH. CATCH THIS.
Even as a teenager, Diana is really good with her siblings. (And the Chaos family continues to bond through sports.)
They also spend a great deal of time hanging out together in the yard. I love this family! You can really see how they all kind of look alike here, too.
Dance break time!
Diana: THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
Dara: ARE YOU CHEERING YOURSELF OH MY GOD, YOU ARE RIDICULOUS.
Diana is so delighted with herself and her dance break. So am I. Dara, it seems, is not. Why so judgmental, Dara?
Dara: EVIL CHILD REMEMBER
Nope, that was your mother. Try again.
Dee: GOT IT!
You can find Dara and Dee playing some form of catch pretty much 75% of the day.
Aww, Chazza, have you taken a liking to stars?
Chazza: Umm, no. I’m checking in on my minions. They’re not stealing nearly enough stuff this quarter.
I … should’ve guessed that.
Diana’s little vampire friend grew up into this hairstyle. I didn’t think it was available for male characters. (Which is a shame.) You rock those pigtails, sir.
Look at sweet Dee, doing her homework nicely. And then there’s Dara, passing out after picking on everyone all day. Chaos family twins, everyone!
Diana: *minding her own business when the vampire friend joins her in the bathroom*
Vampire: There is absolutely no way that I am a vampire.
Diana: … Are you sure that’s the story you want to go with?
Vampire: Yes. No fangs on me.
Diana: DO YOU THINK I HAVE NO BRAIN? I CAN SEE YOUR FANGS AS YOU SAID THAT!
Vampire: Damn! I thought you’d buy my story.
Dara: Monsters? You under there? I have work for you!
Chazza, you are looking fine.
Chazza: *struts* I know.
Carla: Who the fuck are you, and why are you dying at our house?
Death: Hey, Dara, s’up?
Dara: You interrupted my shower for this! We’re not friends anymore!
Carla: YOU WERE FRIENDS WITH D—you know what, I’m not even surprised.
Dara likes to hang out with werewolves. That is certainly one way to put yourself in the lead of the heir race!
Family bonding! Diana’s dancing, Sophie’s working out. I LOVE THIS FAMILY.
Dara: No, seriously, monsters, where are you?!
Carla: *is charmed*
Chazza: *races off to work*
Carla: I don’t even want to know.
Dee: *takes a softball to the face*
This happens a lot in this family. They never seem to stay mad at each other, either.
OH, COME ON. (I guess she’s taken after her mother. She stays out at people’s houses way too late and then passes out when it’s time for school.)
Birthday time for the twins! First up, Dara.
Whoops, never mind, Dee jumped the gun there.
Teen!Dee added the vehicle enthusiast trait to her easily impressed, lucky, and good traits, and there is something terrifying about her face here. (No idea why I have her traits in the document and not Diana’s.)
Teen!Dara added dislikes children to her brave, athletic, and hot-headed traits.
Carla: That does not bode well for you being heir, Dara.
Dara: Don’t care.
Carla: Wwhy are you in your underwear?
Carla: With slippers?
Dara: Look, even evil people’s toes get cold.
Carla: YOU ARE NOT EVIL. THAT IS YOUR MOTHER.
And the creepy mascot is in love with Chazza. Greaaaaaaaat. I’m so glad she didn’t go to university.
Sophie: I am so awesome!
Chazza: Oh yeah?
Chazza: Told you.
We’ve added a sculpting station to the house. Chazza is the first to give it a try. That is a giant block of clay for someone just learning the skill.
Dara: HELP ME I’M SO HUNGRY
Carla: You literally just cooked that burned meal. EAT IT.
Dara: DON’T WANNA YOU FEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Dara has amazing resting bitch face.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?
This is all they do.
… Where are you going, Chazza? I swear to god, if you are about to steal a baby….
Chazza: Mom was right! Death has no dominion here!
Carla: Dumpling is a ghost cat. GHOST. CAT. I see no way in which this can all go terribly wrong.
Chazza: DON’T CARE.
Carla: You know what, you do you, Chazza. You’ve lost a lot of people, I can’t begrudge you getting your cat back in some form.
Welcome home, ghost!Dumpling!
Dee’s working hard to become heir. You do remind me of my darling Abby.
Dee: Whooooaaaaaa, did you feel the earth shake?
Carla: It was literally just you, sweetie. And I’m not sure any amount of cleaning can make you as heir a good idea.
Dara: IN YOUR FACE, DIANA.
Damn! Sorry, Diana, but maybe you should have thought better of playing Frisbee with Dara! She’s pretty mean.
See? She’s laughing so hard she’s crying. (She’s also just leapt to the front of the heir race.)
Chazza: I love having a ghost cat!
Carla: It does fit your evil persona.
Diana: Oh no, I think we left the stove on! *checks* Phew, no, false alarm.
Oh, Diana. Darling girl. You and your anxiety go straight to the front of the heir race.
I realized I hadn’t seen anyone dancing for awhile, and when I checked, sure enough, the stereo was broken. Chazza wanted to fix it. That, clearly, was a bad idea.
(Sure does look cool, though!)
Chazza: MY LIFE FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES! *grabs phone* I need to do WAY MORE EVIL.
Carla: How in the world did your phone survive that when your clothes didn’t?!
Diana: Mom, we did the coolest thing in chemistry!
Sophie: Tell me all about it!
You guys are such a cute family!
Ghost!Dumpling is not as friendly as loving as she was when she was alive, and Chazza is pretty much the only person she likes. This is going well.
Diana: Geez, Mom, chill.
Sophie: Just throw it already, kid, god.
Bahahaha, look at those faces!
Um, Sophie, you remember you’re playing with your teen daughter and not your coworkers, right? Your trained athlete coworkers? RIGHT?
Diana: OUCH MOM.
Sophie: Oops, sorry kid. My bad. I really thought you had that one.
Um, Dee, maybe you should be paying attention to what’s going on behind you.
Zombie: GIVE ME YOUR BRAINS!
Zombie: MY EARS
Dee: Oh my god, you scared me.
Zombie: I THINK MY EARDRUMS ARE BROKEN
Chazza: Look what I made! *smug*
Carla: You made a chair. Um. Good job?
(I don’t know that a clay chair is all that useful.)
Well damn, Chazza. Look at that carpool! You really have moved up through the evil ranks.
Sophie! So adorable!
DAMN, CHAZZA. Guess that last promotion came with some swag!
Chazza: *smug* It’s good to be bad.
HOMEWORK PARTY! CHAOS HOUSE! DON’T BE LATE!
(Werewolf in the back corner.)
Hello, creepy gnome! It moves around by itself. THIS WILL GO WELL.
Good grief, Chazza! Are you and Sophie trying to kill your kids via catch? I don’t need any help narrowing down an heir at this time!
Chazza: WHAT PART OF EVIL DON’T YOU GET?
Diana has a vampire and a werewolf following her around. We will NOT be reenacting Twilight, you three.
Ha! Vampire teen, you crack me up.
Diana: I AM SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE AT HOME!
Sophie: YOU PRANK PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
Apparently fairies can dish out pranks but not take them!
Very pretty, Chazza.
Chazza: I wish mom was here to judge it.
… me too, kid. Me too.
Aww. I mean, the house is gross, but you two are adorable. (I can’t believe Abby’s family lives like that!)
Diana: Ugh, this sucks. Why do we even have homework?
Chazza: You can do it, honey. Just like I can make this painting.
Chazza: See? I finished that one and now have this one.
Very nice, Chazza, but I’m pretty sure your girls don’t care.
Birthday time! Happy birthday, Diana! (And check out how Chazza is glowing red in the background. She reached the top of the evil career [which also fulfilled her LTW], and now she glows red with evil sometimes. It’s awesome.)
I’m going to cheat the twins into adults, too, so we can name the heir and move on. Happy birthday, Dee!
WELL THAT IS EMBARRASSING.
Happy birthday, Dara!
Dara: *smug* I am the best.
… pretty sure you’re standing in your sister’s pee, but okay.
Dara: Don’t care, I’m the best. *poses*
Here’s adult Diana! I love that outfit, and her pose.
Adult Dee, keeping her hippy aesthetic.
And adult Dara, sporty as ever.
I doubt it is a surprise that Diana is our heir, but I’ve decided to send all three of them to university. May god have mercy on my soul. Three girls at university, two of them uncontrollable, and I have to try to keep them from flunking out? OH GOD THIS WILL BE HELL.
Chazza: Bye, girls! Bye! (Finally your mom and I have the house to ourselves again.) Bye girls!
Next time, university and the spouse hunt. Good luck to us all.
Torch-Holders: 4 (+1)
Life-Time Wish Achievements: 3 (+1)
Social Worker Visits: 0
Accidental Deaths: 0
Number of Special Tombstones (death by non-old age) vs. Total Death Count: 0/4
Pass-Outs (except fainting when someone sees a ghost): 14 (+5)
Self-Wettings: 9 (+1)
Reach top of a career: 2 (+1)