Carla M. Lee (carlamlee) wrote,
Carla M. Lee
carlamlee

[writing] NaPoWriMo Day 6: Lover’s Chain, Triat

Still following Seanan McGuire’s Lover’s Chain tutorial. The sixth step is the triat, a six line poem made up of two three-line verses. Again, it rhymes, and has an ABA BAB scheme, but no fixed syllable count or scansion pattern. I am writing a love poem to a monstrous final girl.

I froze, scared, terrified, faced face to face with a beast.
It opened its long muzzle wide, flashed sharp, shiny teeth.
You were safe, my love, I thought, at least, at least.

There Then you were thereappeared, one hand on my arm, dragging me away beneath
the lowest branches, silver at your fingers, brow creased.
My hero, but you left me, fear holding me still, in the broken heath.

I like it, but I want some stronger images, so I’ll play with the word choice.

Lover’s Chain

1
The moon rises, bright and full, and with it comes peace.

2
Bloody, bruised, you escape death;
Come, darling, rest, catch your breath.

3
You wore a dress I love, bell skirt swinging;
we danced beneath the bright moonlight.
Kiss me, you said, and I obeyed — left us breathless, joyful, clinging.

4
Behind us, woods, empty and dark.
Silent, but for the crunch of broken leaves.
“Wait,” I said, chilled and leery.
You kissed me, you smiled — I’ll be right back.

5
I shiver, cold damp air on bare skin,
branches tremble in the wind, drop leaves.
It crashes through the brush nearby, big, furred — my breath goes thin.
Branches tremble in the wind, drop leaves.
I shiver, cold damp air on bare skin.

6
I froze, terrified, face to face with a beast.
It opened its long muzzle wide, flashed sharp, shiny teeth.
You were safe, my love, I thought, at least, at least.

Then you appeared, one hand on my arm, dragging me away beneath
the lowest branches, silver at your fingers, brow creased.
My hero, but you left me, fear holding me still, in the broken heath.

This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth.org with comment count unavailable comments. Read the original post there. Comment here or there using OpenID.
Tags: writing: poetry
Subscribe

  • [Meme] Horror Movies

    From gwynnega: Horror Movie I Hate: I was thinking I don't really hate horror movies, I generally find them wonderful, overrated, boring, or…

  • [travel] Wiscon

    I'm headed back to Wiscon! This year, I'll be there from sometime Thursday afternoon through Tuesday morning. Let me know if you'll be there and you…

  • [life] Happy New Year

    Quick roundup of 2017: It was a dumpster fire. I did lots of volunteering, and sometimes that was terrible, but mostly it was good. I wrote 550k…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments