Carla M. Lee (carlamlee) wrote,
Carla M. Lee
carlamlee

[writing] NaPoWriMo Day 3: Lover's Chain, Triplett

Still following Seanan McGuire's Lover's Chain tutorial. The third step is the triplet, three lines with no fixed rhyme scheme. I am writing a love poem to a monstrous final girl. For simplicity, I am doing a standard ABA rhyme scheme.

Previous imagery includes a full moon on the rise, bloody skin, and defying death. I need to avoid a death rhyme because I've already used it, and as previously discussed, I'm avoiding certain common rhymes.

Free writing to go with previous imagery: torn clothes, sharp knife, bruised flesh, killing, running, lost, night, empty house, cornfield.

You wore a dress I love, starry silver, deep blue, full skirt swinging;
we danced beneath the bright moonlight.
Kiss me, you said, and I obeyed -- left you breathless, joyful, clinging.

I went back and forth on whether I wanted "full skirt swinging" or "swinging skirt," but in the end, I wanted the swinging-clinging rhyme. As much as I like the description of the dress, I thought some of the words slowed it down too much. We'll work into that more later.

It wasn't until I edited it out that I realized I had too many uses of "full" too close together, so full skirt has to become something else.

Finally, I decided I disliked that the narrator left the final girl breathless, joyful, clinging. It's far stronger a story to have them both so happy, so lost in each other.

Lover’s Chain

The moon rises, bright and full, and with it comes peace.

Bloody, bruised, you escape death;
Come, darling, rest, catch your breath.

You wore a dress I love, bell skirt swinging;
we danced beneath the bright moonlight.
Kiss me, you said, and I obeyed -- left us breathless, joyful, clinging.

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Tags: writing: poetry
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