Carla M. Lee (carlamlee) wrote,
Carla M. Lee
carlamlee

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[society] Wedding Planning

No, no, I am not planning a wedding. You haven't missed any big announcement. I was talking to cabell about her wedding planning and during the course of the conversation, I was struck by the idea that people seem to be very willing to (negatively) critique other people's wedding plans, more so than a lot of things(1), and I'd like to figure out why.

Cabell and I mused on this for awhile, and I like the theory (or theories) we ended up with, but I'd like your thoughts, too, since a lot of you have more experience with these things than I do.

I will share an excerpt from our discussion:

Cabell: I think the problem is I keep telling people things I plan to do. Clearly that is a mistake.
Carla: Yes, I am starting to think so. Though understandable! I mean, you're excited! You want to share! That's a good thing. It seems a lot of times, people are more willing to negatively critique wedding plans than other things, too.
Cabell: Yeah, I think you're right. The problem is when I say I'm going to do anything that has a traditional history. Like, when I say "I'm getting married in the desert in a red dress," THAT'S fine and no one can argue with me because there's no precedent. But as soon as I do anything that anyone ever did before, everyone has an extremely strong opinion.
Carla: While normally I support people sharing opinions with their friends, etc., I do think that for something so personal as a wedding, there should be some filters in place. Though maybe that's part of the problem; I don't know that weddings are actually seen as a personal thing anymore.
More of a public space.

So what do you guys think? Are weddings treated more as a public space than a personal event? As in, they're less for the couple getting married and more for everyone else? I'm intrigued by this, but would like to hear other thoughts.

(1) Raising children is a similar exception, I think, though I can't speak about it from experience, either.
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