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06 April 2015 @ 03:46 pm
[writing] NaPoWriMo Day 6: Lover’s Chain, Triat  
Still following Seanan McGuire’s Lover’s Chain tutorial. The sixth step is the triat, a six line poem made up of two three-line verses. Again, it rhymes, and has an ABA BAB scheme, but no fixed syllable count or scansion pattern. I am writing a love poem to a monstrous final girl.

I froze, scared, terrified, faced face to face with a beast.
It opened its long muzzle wide, flashed sharp, shiny teeth.
You were safe, my love, I thought, at least, at least.

There Then you were thereappeared, one hand on my arm, dragging me away beneath
the lowest branches, silver at your fingers, brow creased.
My hero, but you left me, fear holding me still, in the broken heath.

I like it, but I want some stronger images, so I’ll play with the word choice.

Lover’s Chain

1
The moon rises, bright and full, and with it comes peace.

2
Bloody, bruised, you escape death;
Come, darling, rest, catch your breath.

3
You wore a dress I love, bell skirt swinging;
we danced beneath the bright moonlight.
Kiss me, you said, and I obeyed — left us breathless, joyful, clinging.

4
Behind us, woods, empty and dark.
Silent, but for the crunch of broken leaves.
“Wait,” I said, chilled and leery.
You kissed me, you smiled — I’ll be right back.

5
I shiver, cold damp air on bare skin,
branches tremble in the wind, drop leaves.
It crashes through the brush nearby, big, furred — my breath goes thin.
Branches tremble in the wind, drop leaves.
I shiver, cold damp air on bare skin.

6
I froze, terrified, face to face with a beast.
It opened its long muzzle wide, flashed sharp, shiny teeth.
You were safe, my love, I thought, at least, at least.

Then you appeared, one hand on my arm, dragging me away beneath
the lowest branches, silver at your fingers, brow creased.
My hero, but you left me, fear holding me still, in the broken heath.

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